News as of 05 August 2008

I slam the door shut, my robes blow awry from the force.
I point my wand threateningly at you and yell,
"That's that evil brandy! Your reign over Nesteaopia is no more!"
You tremble gently and let your wand fall to the ground uselessly.
You softly cry out "Well well well Lord Samwise, I have finally met my match.
Use your wand against me as needed"
Your eyes soften with desire, and my heart melts a little bit.
But I must be harsh, I cast a spell chaining you to the wall.
I say, "Now we have all the time in the world"
I walk up to you tearing off my robes.
I step close to you and our bodies shake with excitement.
Then out of nowhere your loyal troll guard Andrew bursts in and slams me to the ground,
where he proceeds to rape both of us.